What do you do in a relationship with a cheating husband or wife? What do you say when a friend asks, "How can I save our relationship after I caught my husband cheating (or my wife cheating)?"
Even just thinking about it, what would you do, how would you get over something like this and move on?
Perhaps the more important question would be; should this relationship be saved, and why...
It is possible to move forward in your relationship even after a partner has not been faithful, but bear in mind that not all relationships should continue. The key to a good relationship, trust, has been broken, and it will take time to restore it. The essential element to success will be that both parties still desire to build their relationship again. They will need to be committed to rebuilding trust, and the person who destroyed that trust will need to be prepared to prove that they can be trusted again. The person whose trust was broken, will also need to commit to forgiving their partner and learning to trust them again, perhaps on a daily basis for quite some time. If they are not able to trust each other then not only will this relationship wither and die, but it may impact severely on any future relationships until they deal with it and heal.
Because this is such a major hurt that can be inflicted on someone, it is critical that you think carefully before you act rashly and in haste. These actions usually take place because we do not allow ourselves to think about them, or the people we will hurt. We do only what we want for whatever reason, and in cases like these, perhaps it would be wiser not to be any serious long-term relationship.
If the desired outcome of the fling is to hurt the person you are in a relationship with because you are frustrated or angry or bored with them, then perhaps this is an indication of a deeper need for help. Sometimes the affair is actually a cry for attention from your lover, but you have felt neglected and unloved, and never intended to hurt your other half at all.
So how do you save your relationship when cheating is involved? First, you both need to find out why it happened and whether you want to work on your relationship together to save it, or not. In most cases, it is never completely one person's "fault." Blaming will not help, but an honest appraisal of why the relationship broke down and what needs to be addressed, will help get you back on the right track. Admitting mistakes and asking forgiveness is the next critical step that both partners must take before there is any hope of moving forward, whether that is together or apart. Sometimes this one step is so hard for some people that they never fully recover and any chance of a meaningful and in-depth relationship is cut off from them, sometimes for the rest of their lives.
Some of the hardest things we get to do as adults are also the most liberating and can open the door to happiness only dreamed of. If but only we had the courage to move forward and take the chance.
Even if the relationship cannot be salvaged, the healing and forgiveness is still essential before moving on to a new relationship. Some people will continue to cheat no matter what and in that they suffer a shallow unfulfilled life, perhaps never really knowing what they miss out on.
It is only when you both can see the value in your relationship and you regret the indiscretion that you gave into in a moment of weakness, that you can rebuild your relationship. You have the answer to your question: "how can I save our relationship?"