see a long distance relationship as a 3 in 1 relationship - the Skype Relationship, the Phone Relationship and the Facebook Relationship, as these are the main channels of communication that we long distance lovers use to sustain our love.
Sure, there is also the email relationship, the twitter relationship, the face-to-face relationship when we finally visit each-other, there could also be the classic mail relationship and so on, but from my experience and what I've observed, people mostly use these 3 communication channels or others alike.
That's why in this article I'm going to talk about how to have a successful Facebook Relationship by sharing with you 16 guidelines that I follow to have a brilliant long distance relationship - meaning that I keep her attracted, connect with her better, prevent infidelity and avoid fights and arguments.
Here they come:
1. Relationship Status: In a Relationship With
Imagine a guy liking your girlfriend, he'd look for her on Facebook and find out that she's in a relationship with you - most probably he'll calm down, especially if he sees that she's got a bunch of romantic pictures with you. So, guys won't hit on her that much.
Now, in terms of your girlfriend being tempted to be unfaithful, she'll think twice before compromising herself, because people talk and now anybody who'd find out about it could easily send you a message.
Relationship expert and author Debra Macleod told CTVNews that when she works with couples dealing with infidelity, nine times out of 10 the problems start, in part, because of Facebook.
"Facebook is massively problematic in the sense that all relationships have ups and downs and when it's going through a down it's too easy to have that temptation," she said. "It's at your fingertips -- that old flame or that co-worker that's just a little too supportive."
2. Have pictures together.
As mentioned above it's very important that both of you have pictures together "as a couple" (hugging, kissing) that would tell to potential "hunters" that she's taken and happy in a relationship with you, thus not leaving any room for hope.
3. Keep your passwords private.
There is this tendency when being in a committed relationship for the partners to share with each other their passwords. Well, that's a big mistake for two reasons.
First, you must have your privacy. Don't pack your balls nicely and give them to her, simply because she asks you to. Be a man and hold onto your values. She'll respect you more for not giving up the last personal thing you've got - your passwords. Plus, you create a bit of mystery in her mind, and that's always helpful in keeping her attracted.
Second, she must have her privacy. Asking her to give you her private password to Facebook, Email (or bank account) is a needy thing to do. This means that you're a control freak and you don't trust her. Stop hoping that if you have her Facebook password she'll be more faithful, because if she really wants to cheat on you, she'll use her creativity.
4. Share fun/inspiring posts with each other.
I find it very pleasant to receive a message from my girlfriend with an interesting post that she loved and wanted to share with me. It makes me feel cared about. Well, the same way she feels when I share with her some interesting message, picture or video that I found on my wall.
As the saying goes "Sharing is caring" and in this case it really makes her feel that you care. But please, don't overdo it.
5. Say hello if you're both online.
If this is not something that you already do, then make sure to have an agreement with your partner to say hello to each other if you're both online, but 'busy' doing something else. Meeting on Facebook is the same as meeting face to face - when you see each other, greet each other. Otherwise it simply gets too awkward.
6. Don't over express your love for her online.
Be romantic, write cute comments to her posts and photos etc., but do that sporadically. Try to be a little more conservative about expressing your love, and this means not overdoing in on Facebook in front of everybody. Otherwise two things are gonna happen.
1. Some people might envy your relationship. And envy from others is not something you'd want, because it might affect your relationship in ways in which you would never suspect. Especially if this envy would come from someone that also hates you.
2. You'll seem to her and to the "public" as too weak. Especially of you express your feelings more than she does. Why? Because that's what women do, and you're a man. Keep your great love mostly private, and save yourself these troubles.
7. Avoid online arguments!
It wasn't only once that I've seen couples having fights online. And truth to be said it was a lot of fun for me and I bet for all the other readers to witness this embarrassing act of immaturity. So, take your arguments offline and solve them in a mature way, rather than making a fool of yourself.
8. Create your private Love Nest online.
A brilliant way of staying in touch with your girlfriend and also doing it in a special way is creating your private facebook group. A group that you'd customize in a romantic way and where you'd share private stuff, post interesting things that you found on the web, express your love, have fights "online" if it comes to it (but private nonetheless) and overall creating your little love nest online.
Also, an alternative to a Facebook group would be getting an account on Luvmore.com, an online platform that is offering a similar service as a private Facebook group, but created especially for couples that want to express their love online while being apart or not.
9. Be authentic with your Likes.
Just because you are her boyfriend does not mean that you should Like or Comment on everything she posts. Be authentic about it, and like and/or comment only the posts that you really like. If you are authentic with your preferences on Facebook and in life in general, she'll trust you more and see you as a masculine man who has integrity.
10. Avoid public conversations with girl-friends.
Even if it may seem innocent to you, having a fun public conversation online with a girl-friend or even worse ex-girlfriend might set your partner on fire. Therefore my suggestion is to keep these fun conversations private, so that you avoid jealousy scenes that will most probably lead to some kind of fight.
11. Don't leave compromising evidence.
It happened to me more than once to visit my girlfriend, and while being together, to leave my Facebook open for a while, and in that time my girlfriend would read my Facebook conversations and find some compromising or uncomfortable, for her, conversations that I had with other girls.
The result? A huge argument lasting a few days, sometimes, about those conversations that she found. And I am not talking here necessarily about conversations that prove your unfaithfulness, but simply about having somewhat "flirty conversations" with girl-friends of yours.
My suggestion - delete them, and save yourself and your girlfriend the jealousy and the endless arguments that can appear as a consequence.
12. Your relationship status is not 'flexible'.
Changing your Facebook status from "In a relationship" to "Single" is a childish way of "sending a message" to your partner because you got angry at her. Even though this immature act is more often done by girls in the anger of the moment, or to make a little impact on you, there are some men that I've noticed to do that as well.
Please don't be one of them, and if you change your relationship status, then do it for real when the relationship is actually over.
13. Comment wisely.
"Uhh, that's a nice dress!" or "Long time no see Annie. Miss our crazy parties together!" are pretty innocent comments for us men, but for our girlfriends they may look like a red flag.
I am not saying that you should stop commenting to other girls posts in order to avoid your girlfriend's jealousy, what I am suggesting though is to think twice before writing something that could put you in trouble.
14. Keep private things private.
Keep the intimate details of your relationship private. There is no need for other people to know 'how good of a kisser your partner is' or 'that you just had a big fight with your girlfriend'. Plus it gives a poor impression of you and your partner.
15. Don't vegetate on Facebook.
Facebook it's become so popular that, for me, it's the first thing I open when I go online before my email account, before Google, YouTube or anything else.
And it's fine to use Facebook in a functional manner, but staying 5-10 hours online is something that you'd want to avoid.
Why? Because it says the wrong things about you as a man. It looks like you have nothing more interesting and important to do than to follow other people's lives.
An attractive man for a woman is a man that has a purpose and who's following his purpose. And this man does not have time to vegetate on Facebook, because he's busy doing what he loves, following his passions, learning, socializing and living his life rather than following other people's lives on Facebook.
16. Don't be online & available 24/7.
Imagine that any time your girlfriend is going online on Facebook she find's you online as well, eager to talk to her. Now besides the fact that you look like a guy with no interesting life, you become very predictable and too available for her.
If you've read my 3 Mistakes book, then you know that women love challenge and hate predictability, and if she knows that if something - she'll find you online anytime, she'll feel less challenged and more disinterested in communicating with you.
So, if you're not using Facebook right now, then don't leave it open, but close it. Don't become the predictable boyfriend who is always available online.