Can you maintain a LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP and make it Work?

Most relationships pose a challenge one way or another but maintaining a long distance relationship can stretch the love of any couple. The question is - how would you maintain a long distance relationship and make it work? To begin with, it takes two mature people, who have good communication skills, who are willing to work together, and have some helpful long distance relationship advice to follow.

I have included in this article some of the pitfalls that are common when couples are in a long distance relationship and also some very effective tips that will ensure that your relationship not only works but blossoms.

First, let us look at some of the pitfalls to be wary of before embarking on a long distance relationship:

Insecurity - if you struggle with insecure feelings and find it difficult to trust what you cannot see then this type of relationship will at best test you to the limits and at worst be disastrous for you. This kind of relationship requires good levels of trust and you would need to know in your heart that your partner was okay and being faithful even though you are not physically together.

Suspicion - this is an extension of having insecurities, where you not only have difficulty trusting your partner but you do not have any confidence that your partner can remain faithful in any circumstance. You may even think things are going on when there are perfectly reasonable explanations and it is not at all what you imagined it to be.

Faithfulness - it would be very tempting to have a casual relationship with another partner when not together, and unless this is something that you have both discussed and agreed about going out with other people, you should be faithful to each other while in this relationship. If you are going to have a "fling" why would you have a long distance relationship with another person?

If these situations are some of the things that you are struggling with, then perhaps you need to honestly question whether your long distance relationship is for you and whether it will really work...

Now, what are the things that you can put in place to ensure a strong lasting relationship?

Agreement - the first thing to bear in mind for any successful relationship especially long distance is that you both need to be on the same page. You need to agree on things such as being in a monogamous relationship or whether you would still be able to see other people. If both of you or one of you still wants to date others then you may as well forget about trying to have a relationship long distance. You would only anticipate having such a relationship if you both were determined to build a long-lasting long-term relationship and you believed that your partner is the person you wish to be with for the rest of your life.

Good communication skills - the most important part of a good relationship is good communication skills and building a relationship over distance will require these skills. In fact, in situations like this, when the relationship is built successfully it is because the couple has been able to develop effective communication without the distraction of the physical side of a relationship. They are able to take their relationship to a deeper level of intimacy through connecting emotionally, mentally and spiritually before delving into the urgency of the physical side of the relationship. Much like in "olden times" when sex took place after marriage and the strength of the relationship was built on the three other aspects.

Commitment - making a promise to each other to be faithful and stay on track with their relationship and that one day they will be together, but for the time being there are requirements to be in separate places. It is also a commitment to make the relationship work, which is the same for any other relationship, but requires a little more effort especially when you miss having each other around.

Creativity - this is also important and is part of the commitment you make to each other. It is about being creative in keeping in touch. Nowadays with technology this can be a lot easier with programs like Skype and VOIP. Texting and email are also good but are harder to share intimate thoughts and feelings, letters and parcels are still a good second option to video and phone as they are a tangible "hard-copy" reminder and evidence of your lover's affection for you.

The answer to the original question is, "Yes, you can maintain a long distance relationship." It just takes more effort, and a determination and commitment to making it work, than a regular relationship, but on the other hand, it can be easier to build a deeper level of connection.

Following the guidelines in this long distance relationship advice will ensure that your love can be built to last, and you can achieve a loving intimate long-term relationship.